Mother Dearest
by ttfan111robstar1
Summary: Robin's feelings after the events of Mother Mae Eye. Slight infantilism.


Remembering seeing Mother for the first time was physically painful for Robin.

The illusion that she had always been there had filled a long existing gap in his heart from the absence of his real mother- a gap which no one should have been able to fill. Bruce had adopted him, and in Bruce he had found a father, but he never had found a second mother. He didn't think he wanted to.

Seeing the illusion of her had filled him with a joy that had long been denied him. Somebody cared for him. Not just that, but somebody was taking care of him. For the first time in years he didn't have to worry about being responsible for himself or his team. He could, for the first time in a long time, act like a kid.

At the time it had seemed as if her love held no bounds. She fed him, combed his hair, tucked him into bed and kept him safe. Even when she took all of the weapons from his belt it seemed like she was looking out for him. When he found out what had replaced them, he wasn't angry- he was just momentarily annoyed. And, although he would never admit it to anyone, he would have gladly used the items she'd put there- but only in private. When they went back to the tower, he had felt bad that he had gone out on the mission. He had kept his head down and said nothing. He had failed, and if mother hadn't been there, his team could have gotten very hurt. He had gone to his room and cried in secret. Before anyone could notice he was gone, he was back out there, a smiling mask fixed on his face, with no trace of the tears he had recently shed left.

Mother had embraced the love starved child that was hidden deep inside of him. Although he considered Bruce his father (even after their falling out), Bruce had never been one to demonstrate affection for him. Mother was different. She gave him hugs and kisses readily. She never hesitated to say that she loved him. It had brought out his inner child, well hidden under his mask, and given him just what he craved most- love. Having been given what had so long been denied him, he had let his guard down around her. Before they had had the communal bed, she had tucked him into his bed at bedtime, and he had unashamedly started to suck his thumb- a habit he had expertly hidden from Bruce for several years. She had smiled and stroked his hair with loving tenderness, encouraging his behavior. She had even given him a pacifier and a bottle full of milk if he wanted to use them. He had blushed a bit at that. He couldn't deny it- she knew exactly what he had wanted. She had combed down his hair gently and gave him a kiss.

"Does Mother's little Robby-Wobby want his ba ba?" She crooned. He smiled.

"Yes, Mother." She replaced his thumb with the nipple of the bottle, and he began to suck on it contentedly, drawing out the warm milk inside. Mother was smiling down at him, and it made him feel fuzzy inside. When the bottle was empty, she had popped the pacifier into his mouth easily, gave him a kiss, and then left him to sleep.

"Goodnight Robby-Wobby." She called from the doorway. He smiled and snuggled deeper under the covers.

Secretly, he was pleased. He fell asleep sucking on his pacifier, warmed by the knowledge that he was lovingly cared for by someone who wouldn't judge him for liking babyish things. It had always been one of his main concerns with Bruce- wondering if he would still love him after finding out his little secret. He had never understood why he felt such a deep pull toward babyhood- perhaps it was going back to when he wasn't two different people, or maybe it was because it was a time when he'd been much more innocent. He didn't know which. All he knew was he liked it.

When he was with his friends he had to be careful not to let them see this part of him. But when it was just Mother he could readily put this side of him on display. A part of him wanted to call her Mommy, but it seemed like a step too far, even though he knew she wouldn't mind. There were things he wanted to do but knew he couldn't do in front of his team. He didn't want to be seen as the weakest link. It was one of his biggest fears. He couldn't have a stuffed animal with him, or a blanket to nuzzle when he felt like it. He certainly couldn't use his paci or ba ba around them. Whenever nap time came mother made sure he was woken up first so that he could hide them back in his room.

It was the first time he had really ever trusted someone in that way. So naturally it had to be blown apart.

When he saw what she really was it felt like he got shot in the chest. He had trusted her and she had been lying to him all along. The indignity he felt was only matched by his raging anger. How dare she?! He had _trusted_ her. Didn't she know how _tough_ that was for him?! It was with a heavy heart that he realized she didn't care. She was only looking out for her own welfare.

So when the moment finally came for him to get his vengeance, he spoke with a voice laced with venom.

"Lady, you're not my mother."

He fought against her with his team. When she was defeated and safely delivered to the HIVE Five's doorstep, he had gone back to his room, saddened. His trust had been misplaced. His deepest secrets had been given to a woman who had never loved him in the first place. He cried quietly, mourning the loss of his own mother all over again. When it got to be too much, he took out an old shoe box from under his bed. Inside were a few pictures and a black communicator. He opened it, clicked the call button, and waited.

Batman's face filled the screen. "Hello?"

Robin took off his mask, revealing puffed eyes. "Hi Dad."

Bruce was surprised by the gesture, and pulled off his own cowl. "What is it, Dick?"

He explained everything that had happened to him in the past week, talking about the moments of happiness that he had felt, and the way she had gotten him to let his guard down. He spoke for the first time of the desires of his that she had placated, and the guilt that threatened to crush him to pieces once he realized what she had done.

Bruce listened to every word, keeping a stoic expression. Every time he was tempted to say "I told you so" was tempered by the look of absolute anguish on his son's face. It was absolutely heartbreaking. When he finished, Dick looked at Bruce with a look that was so vulnerable that it made him look so much younger than sixteen.

"You couldn't have known what she would do to you. This is not your fault, son. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I-"

"I know. You loved her. It wasn't your fault. You made an honest mistake. I'm sure your mother would forgive you."

They were the words he'd needed to hear. He smiled a real, genuine smile for the first time.

"Thanks Dad."

"Anytime son, anytime."


End file.
